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Monday, November 15, 2010

Nuclear Balm

Finished writing the pilot episode. I was aiming toward an 11 minute model for the show, al a Adult Swim,  but the pilot ended up being 24 pages long. In general a person should toss the pilot and start with the second episode of a show. This usually makes it more engaging to an audience. Starting in the middle is always a much stronger choice writing wise.

I had written an episode of the show a while ago and wanted to do a back story to see where it took me creatively. The script turned out really nice and sets up an ominous back story and a mystery to unravel throughout the series.

I thought I'd post an excerpt from the script. This is about 3 minutes in, Fluffy McStuffin's had to load his station wagon with his 30 children attempting to escape from a gang of evil teddy bears. After a thrilling desert car chase, Fluffy crashes and passes out. Don't forget Fluffy has an Australian accent...



POV of Fluffy.

Well well well, looks like our new friend is waking up.

The evil TEDDY TALKS-A-LOT slowly comes into focus. Teddy is one of those story time bears that needs a cassette tape in his chest to talk. He sounds a tad like Frasier, with a bit of a British twang. 

Fluffy slowly wakes up, tied between two cacti with his arms and legs outstretched in the shape of an X.

Who the hell are you? Where are my kids?

It's funny that you think you are in any position to ask questions Mr. McStuffin. This isn't a game show. Now tell me what I want to know, or...

Talks-A-Lot snaps his fingers.

BILLY (off screen)


We see that Billy is being held by the ears at the top of a machine that resembles a chipper shredder. One of TALKS-A-LOTS evil teddy bear minions, SWEETIE PIE, is holding BILLY over the deadly mouth of the machine. KISSY FACE, a smaller teddy bear pulls a lawn mower-esque starter that brings the beast to life.

...we'll find out what you're boys made of... literally. What did...

Teddy stops talking for a beat. There is a beep noise.

End of side one.

Teddy pops out his tape and turns it over.

...Sophia tell you before she died?

How do you know Sophia?

Again with the questions! Sweetie Pie, show the rabbit what happens if his next sentence ends with a question mark...

Oooooooh, what's going to happen to Billy? I guess you'll just have to find out when the show hits the air waves and internet tubes. Please help spread the word about the show to all the powerful decision making executives at any television stations you might know. I don't have a deal with anyone yet after all.


1 comment:

  1. Intrigued!! I have soooo many interests involved, already! Can't wait!